I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
