Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
