I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
