thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
