Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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