I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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