So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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