Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize