Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
