Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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