That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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