Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
