eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
