i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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