There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
