I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I will be naked everywhere
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm determined to sit on that face.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
