you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
