I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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