oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
