hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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