they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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