Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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