i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm sobbing to NWA
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
