Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
This is the high leading the old right now
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
