just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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