Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
