dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
