It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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