Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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