Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
