Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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