take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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