WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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