i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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