I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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