Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
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