have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
