operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
