The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
