the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
3pm strippers are depressing
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
