ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
