Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
