it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
being pregnant is like rehab
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
