2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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