margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
