Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
