I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
