I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
