I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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