Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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