Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
