jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
